Waiter, there's a man in my soup!

Once upon a time my wife's car died so she drove me to work in my car. My work has a security gate that requires a badge to enter after 5:00 p.m. There were several problems with that, especially that particular day:
1. I get off at 6:00 p.m., and
2. I had my badge, which I needed to get around the building, so
3. my wife stopped outside the security gate, which is 150 feet or so from the building proper (remember my bad knee) and
4. it picked that day, at that time, to rain like hell. I was soaked when I got to the car.

We decided to go out to eat. My first stop was to the restroom to towel off as best I could (read: I was still sopping wet).

The restaurant had a strolling magician. The food was good. The magician was not. I'm not even particularly talking about his tricks. I just cringed at how he approached the table and how he treated the patrons. Some examples:

• He carried a large wooden case with a drawer that contained his props. When he approached the table he touched peoples plates (with food on them) to move them to accommodate his case. Don't do that.
  
• He then asked people to shift their chairs around and pay attention to him rather than their food. Don't do that.
  
• He started his routine by saying, "We're going to play a game, and you can't win." Don't do that.
  
• He then did an incredibly long routine while the people were trying to eat. Don't do that.
  
• He invoked religion in the middle of the routine without gauging his audience. Don't do that.
  
• He performed for more than twenty minutes at the one table. Don't do that. (I could tell they wanted him to leave, and other tables wanted him to perform for them. He was oblivious.)
  

The sad thing is that I'm sure if I asked the guy he'd say he had a very successful performance. After all, he stayed at the table for twenty minutes, right? And that gave him one more notch in his belt - one more "successful" performance.

I was discussing magic with a friend one time, and the various skill levels among people despite the fact that some had been in magic a very long time. He then said something that stuck with me, and that I think of when I see someone like our strolling clueless wonder (worker). He said, and I'm paraphrasing, that some people have thirty years of experience in magic and some people have one year of experience thirty times.

I once did restaurant magic for a living (for a very short time). I was very hesitant to approach a table. People were there to eat - I was a surprise, and, contrary to most magicians' beliefs, not everyone likes surprises, and not everyone likes magic. I tried to be in tune with my audience, and if they weren't up for what I was doing I would cut it short and thank them for their time. I also tried to work from my pockets, and I seldom set anything on the table. I never touched plates or utensils that were still in use. That just struck me as wrong. Still does. If food came I wrapped up and moved on unless I was specifically requested to stay. In that same vein, I kept my routines short, and the few routines that ran a bit long were modular so I had several stopping points in case I needed one.

If I were to do restaurant work again I think I'd have table tents printed (or talk the restaurant into having them printed) that say something like, "Place this card near the end of your table if you'd like to see the magician." Something like that would be relatively cheap at your local Kinko's, and it'd serve a dual purpose: it would inform the patrons that a magician was on premises, and it would give them a method to signal said magician and let him/her know they were up for a performance. Then you could approach a table and know you weren't interrupting.

Do that.

*************

Since writing this I've been informed that several performaers have used the table tent idea. I've heard the names Don Alan, Scott Guinn, and Eugene Burger, among others, mentioned. Great minds...